One of the most helpful tools of spiritual practice is processing. Basically, processing is a self-awareness exercise, a problem-solving session with our journals.
When an issue comes up, it starts to preoccupy our mind. We worry about it. We wonder about it. We begin to think about it all the time. We watch in horror as it grows to calamitous proportions until we have a real PROBLEM.
The problem with the worry method is that it becomes circular. You wonder how to fix things. You think of a solution and then up come all the obstacles to those solutions. Then you worry about the obstacles, eventually feel defeated and fall back into wondering how to solve the problem.
Writing in a journal will help you break out of cyclic thinking. First of all, the act of writing brings you in touch energetically with your heart. The energy flows from your heart chakra out through your arms and hands. As you write, you enter an altered state of consciousness.
When we worry a problem, we’re caught up in cognitive, but non-rational thinking. We can wish all we want from this level, but the ego, for the most part is in control. When we access our hearts, however, we access a deeper wisdom. In our hearts lie the answers, ones we’ve never thought of. Through our hearts we can connect with our essential selves, our inner truth, our souls.
Whether you journal on a computer, or write out longhand in a notebook, the very process will bring surprises. So do yourself a favor and if you don’t have a journal, make a point of getting one. And treat it as a ritual. Go journal shopping. Let your heart be drawn to one. See your journal as a sacred space, a conversation with your Soul, or Higher Self, or Guide, however you perceive the source of wisdom and truth within.
Find a private space, light a candle, incense or essence diffuser. Feel each act as one of devotion. Light the candle consciously and invite in your Soul, or some spirit guide. Settle into a comfortable chair, open your journal and pose a question.
We will talk much more about processing because it is the key to transformation. It’s important to remove obstacles, clear out unresolved issues that block us from our source. There is magic in this work. Setting the scene alerts the unseen realm that you are open for business. Posing the question, activates the answer. The more you practice, the better you get, like learning to play the piano. Start with the scales. Ask yourself, what is going on? Who am I blaming? Has this happened before? Under what circumstances? What happened then? How could I see this differently? What part did I play in creating it? What lesson is here for me to learn?
As I’ve been saying, this Scorpio month is all about transformation. The more time we spend in meditation, processing, feeling into our hearts and surrendering to our inner reality, the more growth and insight we will receive. We each have a core wound that has plagued us all our lives. It’s what holds us back from fulfillment. We can’t let that wound sabotage our intent any longer. We have to grow up and stand up and speak up now.
I thought I would share a portion of my own journal, because, right on schedule, my own core wound has resurfaced. An example of processing might be more helpful than more instructions. You can see the shift of consciousness as I write.
My life long issue of “not good enough” has come up again. I feel as if my writing isn’t good enough, my readings aren’t good enough, I’m not good enough to publish a book, let alone finish one.
Why do I keep butting against this issue? Why do I keep letting myself down? I know that my upbringing was loaded with criticism. A mother with a Virgo Moon, constantly letting me know that whatever I did wasn’t enough – only an A? Why not an A+?
For a long time I wrestled with my fear of visibility, because, after all, why should I show the whole world that I’m not good enough? But, I gathered my courage, created a website, a blog and started offering readings. And while I got pretty good feedback, I’m still riddled with doubt and feeling inadequate. And I don’t know how to fix it, heal it.
So now I’m about to begin a new series Practicing the Future. I suppose the good news is that I have my own issue to work on. The bad news is that I have no idea how to solve it. Knowing, intellectually, that in reality I am a spiritual being, perfect in essence, doesn’t help me. This cannot be addressed intellectually. I am stuck. How do I feel that perfection? How do I embody it, live it, have total faith in it and stop doubting myself? I’m in my own way. It’s ego confrontation time.
So if all of this is ego interference, what is the ego trying to do? And what is my body saying about it?
Well, my body is shrieking at me from my right shoulder. I woke up two weeks ago with pain. I know shoulders have to do with burden, but I don’t feel burdened, except by myself. I am my own burden. The pressure of my ego’s maniacal need to control is creating pain for me.
I have been caught up in expanding my reach. My ego is running my life. I got lured out of my center with this ad campaign. I see I am caught up in marketing and advertising and trying to lure people in. I am in outward mode, trying to make my reality happen. I’m not in my center, and that’s where security lies.
What does it matter if I get more readers? Here’s the crux – I want to serve, I want to help others awaken and evolve. I have a passionate drive to do my part, to use whatever talent I have been given to speak up, to cast my vote for a different future.
There’s a savior aspect here. In some ways I feel this time is a re-enactment, a rapprochement of the Christ tale. A beautiful soul incarnated and spent his life speaking up, voting for a different world, pointing out the greed and corruption, offering Love, healing, and compassion, appealing to the best in us. The level of self-awareness was pretty low at the time. Everyone was paradigm-hypnotized, but their souls were longing for something more. Jesus gave them more. He spread love and peace and justice and compassion and showed us a different way to live.
Now we all have to do the same. Not look to Jesus to come back again and do it for us. Now it’s our turn to follow his example – to speak up, to decry, to open our hearts to compassion for our fellow humans. This is where the power lies. If we feel compassion for one another, we are united in spirit, in Love. There is nothing more powerful. This is my ultimate dream – that we wake up to the extraordinary power of Love.
Our growth as a humanity for the last 2000 years has been one of expanding awareness, of self, of “human nature,” of the psychology of our consciousness. The final step is to emulate the avatar of the Piscean age. That means recognizing that we share one consciousness. It means truly seeing each other as ourselves. It means realizing that not only are we One, we are Divine. Our essence is Divine Love and Peace. We have come to create a Compassionate Collective Consciousness. In that state we co-create a new world.
I guess reminding myself about that, connecting with that truth, opening my heart, practicing love. That’s the heart of it – practicing love. And I begin by not listening to my ego’s agenda, not believing when she tells me I’m not enough. I have to claim being enough. I have to stop allowing my ego to torture me with criticism, and obviously that’s my sensitive point. I must desensitize to criticism and shift my relationship with it. Not to see it as some harsh judgment from a person of authority (Mother) or worse, (Super Ego), but to look for the grain of truth. Receive it as a gift. Oh, oh. Am I inviting more?
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